


I'd Choose You

by Loudalarumbells



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-06-14 06:34:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loudalarumbells/pseuds/Loudalarumbells
Summary: Jared is the TA for his English teacher, and is well on his way to a college scholarship. He doesn't have anything in his personal life distracting him from his goals. He is on the swim team, tutors on the side, and is well liked by the popular kids, but at the age of 17, he still hasn't been kissed let alone had a relationship.Jensen is a mess- he hangs out with the trouble makers and burnouts, has a reputation as a fighter, and has made it through more than most kids should have to bear in life. Yet beneath it all he has a heart of gold that just needs a little polishing to shine.The boys are brought together- against their will- by their teacher Mr. Morgan, who believes Jared is just what Jensen needs to turn his grades around and come out of his bad boy shell. No one, least of all the boys, would have ever predicted that despite disagreements, pain, and heartbreak, and somewhere amidst all the messy high-school life they navigate, love could be waiting for them both- with each other.





	1. Chapter One

** I’d Choose You **

_I didn’t fall in love with you._

_I walked into love with you,_

_With my eyes wide open,_

_Choosing to take_

_Every step along the way._

_I do believe in fate and destiny,_

_But I also believe_

_We are only fated_

_To do the things_

_That we’d choose anyway._

_And I’d choose you;_

_In a hundred lifetimes,_

_In a hundred worlds,_

_In any version of reality,_

_I’d find you_

_And I’d choose you._

 

**Chapter One**

_J1:_

Jensen slumped in his seat, jean clad legs stretched out in front of him, boots crossed at the ankle resting on the floor. He let one arm dangle close to the ground, while he held a pen to his lips with the other, sucking on the pen cap idly. English was not his subject, not by a long mile. It was just too tedious and boring. But Mr. Morgan was a family friend and had threatened Jensen with exposing his ditching ways to his adopted father Jim if he didn’t at least show up for his class. Jensen sighed out loud, shifting in his chair, trying to find something to focus on that wasn’t the open book in front of him. The other students were obediently reading the passage and would offer no respite from his boredom. He heard a shuffle of papers and looked up to the front of the class. Mr. Morgan wasn’t in the room, but his TA was sitting at the end of his desk, grading the pop quizzes the class had taken earlier. Jensen frowned, studying him. Jeremy, he thought his name was. He should probably remember, since Mr. Morgan was always talking about what a promising student he was, but Jensen tended to close off to conversations about school when his teacher was over at the house hanging out with Jim. Jeremy looked ridiculous, perched on a stool crunched against the edge of the desk. His long legs and arms took up too much space in the small area, but despite that, he seemed 100% focused on the task at hand, swiftly working his way through the stack of papers, making tic marks on the pages, writing and circling grades at the top of each one. As if sensing that he was being watched, Jeremy looked up and directly over to Jensen, longish brown hair flopping around his face as he did. Jensen smirked at Jeremy around the pen in his mouth as if to say “Yeah, I’m not reading the assignment. What are you going to do about it?” The TA’s brows drew together, and his lips pursed. He lowered his gaze and focused back on the stack of papers in front of him.

 

_J2:_

                Jared could feel someone starting at him as he graded the quizzes, and he looked up to see if one of the students needed some help. Everyone seemed to be fine, absorbed in their reading materials. Looking further to the back, Jared saw Jensen sprawled out at his desk, heavy lidded gaze observing him. Jared’s heart skipped a beat. He was pretty sure Jensen didn’t know he was alive, and to find himself the center of his piercing green gaze was disconcerting. Jared’s thoughts raced. Should he go over and see if the student needed help? At that moment Jensen pushed the pen in his mouth to the side with the tip of his pink tongue and positively smirked at Jared, one eyebrow lifting enticingly, his face settling into a challenging half smile. Jared frowned and looked away immediately, the tips of his ears burning. Of course, the resident trouble maker didn’t need help. He just felt the need to challenge whatever authority figure was around and Jared was an easy target. Deciding to ignore the other boy, he settled back in to grading papers until the end of class. It was hard to stay focused, though. Jared was certain this was the first time Jensen had ever acknowledged his existence, and Jared had been watching Jensen for a long time. It wasn’t that Jared thought Jensen was a romantic interest; he was fully aware the other boy was straight and that they came from entirely different worlds. But it was impossible for Jared not to watch. Jensen was the most beautiful person Jared had ever seen, and he wasn’t the only one in the school who thought that or stopped dead in his tracks when Jensen was around. Jared snapped out of his musings when Mr. Morgan strode back into the classroom.

                “Alright guys, get on out of my sight. Class dismissed. Jensen… hang tight for a minute.” Jensen rolled his eyes, but made no move to leave the classroom, rather grabbing his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder, and sauntered over to his teacher. Mr. Morgan waved the other students off as the trickled out the door and sat down behind his desk. Jared carefully laid the stack of graded papers down next to his hand.

                “I was waiting for you to pass these out. I’m sorry, should I have…?” He started but was cut off.

                “Don’t worry about it, Jay. I’ve got other stuff on my mind right now. Can you please wait in the hall until I’m done with Mr. Ackles? I’ll need to speak with you when I’m finished with him.” Jared frowned for the second time in the past few minutes, directing a dark look in Jensen’s direction. Reluctantly, he nodded, stepping into the hallway and easing the door shut behind the last straggling student. He wondered what was going on that would warrant a private conversation with both boys. It would be no surprise if Ackles was getting his ass reemed over something right now, but Jared was a good student and well behaved; there should be nothing negative coming his way. As Jared waited, he could hear raised voices from behind the closed door. He backed away slightly, not wanting to seem like an eavesdropper. The voices were muffled, but getting louder, and Jared was taken aback. He hadn’t seen Mr. Morgan argue with anyone before, let alone a student. It was a good thing Jared had backed off, because a moment later the voices cut off, and Jensen slammed his way through the door, face a storm cloud. He paused for a moment and made eye contact with Jared for a second time. He sneered in disgust as if Jared had personally offended him, shook his head, and gestured back at the open door.

                “Your turn, golden boy. Have fun with Jeff, he’s being a real bag of dicks today. No wonder you guys get along so well. I’m out.” And with that Jensen hunched his shoulders and walked briskly off, obviously not willing to expand upon his statement. Jared stared after Jensen for a moment, feeling queasy. What was with the third degree? Jared hadn’t done anything to him; hadn’t even spoken with him before today. His temper flared. He didn’t deserve the treatment he was receiving.

                “Takes one to know one, asshole!” Jared called after Jensen, who didn’t stop or turn around but flipped him off over his shoulder. Jared was sure he was red again, this time from both anger and embarrassment. _Real nice first interaction with the man of your dreams, Jay,_ he thought to himself. _And why is he insulting you when you’ve never even met before?_ It didn’t seem to matter to his traitorous self that the “man of his dreams” was obviously a grade A douche bag. He shouldn’t care what a person like that thought of him, yet somehow, he did. Turning around to enter the classroom, he let out a squeak. Mr. Morgan was standing right behind him and glanced at Jared ruefully.

                “Not off to a great start with him, Jared. Get on in here.” The men walked into the classroom and sat back down at the desk, Mr. Morgan in the chair, and Jared back in the too-small stool.

                “Not like I needed to make a good impression. That’s the first and last time I’ll talk to that guy.” Jared scoffed, staring at the desktop.

                “Well that’s where you’re wrong. I’m going to need you to do some tutoring for Mr. Ackles. He’s falling behind in a few classes. He’s agreed to be a part of the upcoming play for some extra assistance with his classes. I told him you’d do an excellent job as his tutor.” Mr. Morgan studied Jared’s reaction from behind his black rimmed glasses, a half smile twitching on his face. Jared’s face was pale, and he looked mortified.

                “Umm… Mr. Morgan… I appreciate your faith in me but that’s not going to happen. I mean, uh, I usually get paid for my tutoring, and I’m going to be busy with the swim team and helping you with the play.” Mr. Morgan frowned at Jared and shook his head firmly.

                “Well you’re just going to have to figure out your time management, Jared. I need your help with this one. You’re my assistant; we’ll go ahead and consider this one of your duties for now.” Jared felt a nervous sweat break out on his forehead. It was obvious Jensen knew Jared was going to be his tutor from the way he had reacted leaving the room and had been severely less than pleased.

                “Dude. He’s an asshole. And I’m pretty sure I can’t help a lost cause.” Jarden didn’t really think Jensen was a lost cause; he knew he was smart. They’d had enough classes together for that to be obvious. But he was panicking, trying to figure out a way to abort this. Mr. Morgan’s face darkened, and he waited a moment before responding, obviously not wanting to respond in anger.

                “Jensen… he’s a great kid. He’s just had a rough time of it. I know you’re busy and I know he isn’t the easiest person to get along with. But he has a good heart and he’ll respond to you. That boy means a lot to me, he’s kind of like the son I never wanted. I would consider this a person favor, Jared.” At those quiet words, Jared felt his resolve soften. After all, there was an awkward favor he had wanted to ask his teacher for a while now, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to get what he wanted.

                “I didn’t realize you had a… personal relationship with Jensen.” He paused, trying to decide how to phrase his request. “You know how I always tease you that my mom has a crush on you? Take her out. You do me a personal favor, I do you a personal favor.” Mr. Morgan’s eyebrows climbed up his face in obvious surprise at the request.

                “Kim is a lovely woman, Jared. It would just be inappropriate for me to become involved with a student’s parent, let alone my assistant’s. Especially as part of a deal.” Jared smiled cheerfully at his teacher despite the negative response to his request.

                “You’re asking me to do you a personal favor that really goes above and beyond my responsibility as your TA. I’m pretty sure this is going to be a bad deal for me but I’m willing to do it, if you just get over the inappropriateness thing. Besides, you guys practically melt every time you see each other. I don’t think it’s going to be much of a hardship for you to give in to something you obviously want.“ Jared looked back at the desk for the next part. “She’s lonely and she works too hard. I worry about her, you know. She deserves someone good in her life.”

                “Oh hell, kid.” Mr. Morgan cleared his throat. He knew how much Jared cared about his mother; they were obviously extraordinarily close. And he wasn’t wrong about the feelings between the two adults. “You go make nice with Jensen, and I’ll give her a call tonight. I needed to talk to her about your involvement in the play anyhow, I guess this just changes the agenda a bit.”

 

_J1:_

                Jensen had spent the rest of the day calming down after his argument with Jeff. He knew the older man was just looking out for him, and it was actually really kind that he had decided to help Jensen find a tutor he wouldn’t have to pay, since he didn’t have any extra money to go around. If Jensen was being honest with himself, he felt badly about how he had treated that kid- Jeremy? Earlier. It wasn’t his fault that Jeff had decided to meddle. From what Jensen knew of his new tutor by seeing him around school over the past couple of years, he was a nice guy, on top of being smart and athletic. Jensen always saw him helping other students, being friendly in the halls, and taking an interest in extracurricular activities like the play Jeff had just suckered him into being a part of. That was their deal- if Jensen took part in the school play, Jeff would arrange for Jensen to get help with his scholastics which were suffering. Jensen shut his locker gently, preparing to leave for the day. He jumped when he realized there was a face right behind the locker door. Grimacing, he realized it was the same boy he was just thinking about apologizing to, standing uncomfortably in front him, as if wanting to speak. Jensen spoke first.

                “Hey… uh… Jeremy. Look dude, I’m sorry for being a jerk earlier. I wasn’t too excited that Jeff was ordering my future around but it was kind of uncool to treat you that way.” The boy standing in front of him was taller than Jensen had realized, and more muscular, too. Seeing him so close in person changed his perspective of someone he had always just viewed as a bookworm. His eyes- which were hazel, not brown, to Jensen’s surprise- shifted away, as if he couldn’t stand to make eye contact.

                “Whatever. Just text me later and we can figure out when to meet up later tonight. I’ve got to get to swim the meet.” With that he thrust a piece of paper into the palm of Jensen’s hand and strode off toward the gym, long legs eating up ground at a fast pace. Jensen watched him leave, tapping the paper against his lips thoughtfully. This was certainly going to be interesting, if nothing else.


	2. Chapter Two

** Chapter Two **

J2:  

                Felicia was sprawled out on her stomach on Jared’s bed, staring at him with amusement. She was Jared’s closest friend; had been as long as he could remember. They were also neighbors. She lived across the street from Jared, and even though she was in college now, she still lived at home and treated their friendship the same as she always had. Regardless of how busy she got with her classes and internship, she always made time for her “little bother”, as she called him. Right now, Jared felt like he could use more of her best friend role than big sister role. Swim meet finished up around the same time Felicia finished at the office, so they generally spent every evening together hanging out and studying. After she had caught him checking his phone for the millionth time, she had ribbed Jared mercilessly until he had explained the predicament he was in.

                “So you’re waiting til he texts you…. And then you basically get a free pass to hang out with this guy any time?” She grinned wider at him, obviously amused with this turn of events. She didn’t remember Jensen from her time at Thoreau High, but that wasn’t saying much since she was a year ahead of them and more interested in the female population of the school. She was hyper aware of Jared’s crush on him, though. It just figured that someone like Jared- hard working, smart, kind, responsible- would fall for someone like Jensen- a trouble making, fight starting, irresponsible partyer- and worse of all, a totally straight womanizer. Jared was smart, though, and understood that his crush was of the “pine from a distance and eventually get over it” type. He was realistic enough to realize that his obsession with Jensen would never go anywhere. Up until today, he hadn’t minded the unrequited love, because it kept him from the distraction of falling for someone available. He didn’t have the time to date, and it was kind of nice to just occasionally think wistfully about someone unavailable, rather than wasting his time chasing someone he could be with. But today, things were changing- Jensen wasn’t going to be at a distance anymore. Jared was going to have to figure out a way to stop thinking about the physical perfection that was Jensen Ackles.

                “Yeah, but dude it isn’t a free pass, it’s a punishment. He’s a total dick. And I don’t need the distraction.” As he spoke the words, his phone buzzed in his hand, and the screen lit up. He gritted his teeth and stared straight ahead at Felicia, who let out a peal of silverly laughter.

                “And you know you’re dying to check your phone and see what the dick has to say, so stop playing like you’re not totally psyched about this whole thing.” Jared stuck his tongue out at her and tossed a pillow in her direction, but immediately dropped his attention back to the phone he had been studiously ignoring. She wasn’t wrong. He had one text message from an unknown number; apparently Jensen was going to take this tutoring thing seriously. Screwing up his face in concentration, Jared replied, and was surprised when he received several immediate responses.

Jensen: _Hey dude it’s Jensen. Texting like you instructed._

Jared: _So you can follow instructions? Dually noted._

Jensen: _Hilarious. I forgot to laugh. When we gonna start the torture sessions?_

Jared: _I have a very refined sense of humor, thank you kindly. You free now? I’ve got a couple of hours before I need to crash._

Jensen: _Where do you and your refined sense of humor live? I’ll hurry over. I’d hate for you to crash without the pleasure of my presence._

As Jared was typing in his address and a suitingly sarcastic reply, Felicia peered over his shoulder, and squealed at the brief conversation.

                “Dude can you two flirt any harder?”

                “It isn’t flirting, it’s witty banter, and I didn’t know he had it in him. I thought he’d text like a drunk thirteen-year-old.”

                “Banter is literally flirting for braniancs like you, Jay. And why did he just call you Jeremy?” She questioned, as Jared hurriedly locked his screen at the last text confirming their study date and referring to him by a wrong name.

                “Umm.. I guess he just, you know, never really learned my actual name…?” Felicia shot him a judgmental expression and rolled her eyes.

                “Well have fun with that. I’m going to head out and give you guys some alone time… Let me know how it goes, Jeremy.” Jared could hear another peal of laughter from her as the second pillow he threw thudded in to the swiftly shut bedroom door. He groaned, and looked around the room, starting to panic. He was definitely going to have to clean before Jensen arrived in all his glory.

J1:

                Jensen shifted from foot to foot on Jeremy’s front porch. He’d rung the doorbell a few minutes ago, but still, no one had answered to let him in. He felt a scowl settle on his face as he turned to walk away, pissed that he’d been stood up, at the guys own house, nonetheless. Before he turned hallway around, the door swung open, and a pretty brunette woman with a pixie cut and mischievous eyes answered the door, a bit breathless.

                “Jensen! Hello we’ve been expecting you! I’m sorry for the wait. I’m pretty sure Jared is trying to put his room in some semblance of order and I was in the middle of dinner. Come on in!” She stepped back and gestured energetically for him to walk into the entry way. Jensen’s brow furrowed in confusion, and he questioned,

                “Jared?” The woman smacked her forehead, and then thrust her right hand out toward him, misunderstanding his question.

                “Sorry! Yes! He’s upstairs. First door on the left. I’m his mother, Kim. Nice to meet you.” Jensen nodded slowly, and engulfed her smaller hand in his, shaking firmly, and appreciating her return grip. Kim obviously had a strong personality on her, a friendly one, but a strong one, as proved in her iron handshake.

                “Yeah… Jared… uh, I’ll just head up there. Thanks for having me, Mrs., uh, miss… Kim.” He fumbled over how to address her, blushing, and ducking his head. Kim just laughed at his discomfort and gave him a quick hug around the shoulders.

                “No problem. It’s nice to see Jared socializing every once in a while. Now get on up there, he’s expecting you.” She squeezed his shoulder affectionately, and Jensen felt his mouth gap. This lady was insanely nice, and he didn’t know how to handle it. Rather than putting his foot in his mouth anymore, he just nodded vigorously in assent, and jaunted up the stairs, two at a time, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Clearing his throat and glancing down the stairs at Jared’s smiling mother, he rapped sharply on the door, begging a quick entrance internally. He didn’t have long to wait before the door opened halfway, and Jared popped his head out the door, locking eyes with Jensen. He cleared his throat, face cloudy for a moment, and opened the door the rest of the way.

                “Hey man. Come on in. I think I finally cleared up enough room for you to sit.” He smiled a tight smile as Jensen shouldered his way into the room and looked around. The room was rather sparse, not messy like Kim and Jared had indicated, not empty, but almost militant in its lack of decorations. There was a larger bed than Jensen would have expected, either queen or king sized, a large, sturdy desk with a laptop, speakers, and overflowing with stacks of books, a rickety chair in front of it, a missionary style dresser, black mini fridge, and side tables, but little to no decorations. The only ones visible was a bamboo plant in the window sill and a framed poster of the Beatles over Jared’s bed. Jensen frowned a little. The room looked like no teenager’s room he’d ever seen before. It looked like Jared was ready to pick up and leave at any moment. It was weird. His face lit up a bit when he saw, next to the desk, a red Yamaha acoustic guitar sitting on a stand next to the desk. He nodded toward the instrument, breaking his silence.

“You play?” Jared flushed slightly.

                “I mean.. I tried. I picked it up, learned a few chords, but I didn’t really have the time to teach myself. It basically just collects dust and makes me feel guilty every time I look at it.” Jensen shrugged in assent, dropping his backpack onto the floor, and flopped down on the edge of the bed, resting his arms on his legs.

                “So you’re into music?” Jared wasn’t expecting another personal question, but he pulled the computer chair out, flipping it around, and straddled the chair, resting his arms on the back to make eye contact with his study partner.

                “Totally. Music is basically life. I wish I had musical talent but all I’m good for is listening to it. What tipped you off?” Jensen focused back on Jared, face as open as he’d ever seen it.

                “I Mean, you don’t have much in here, but the few things you have that aren’t totally practical are a guitar, some super nice speakers, and a giant Beatles picture. It’s kind of obvious.” Jared flushed slightly at the observation, clearing his throat.

                “Yeah. Okay. Well anyway, why don’t we get down to it? What subject do you think you’re struggling with the most right now?” Jensen ignored his question, leaning back in the bed against one elbow, and ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stand even further on end.

                “How long were you going to let me call you Jeremy for?” Jared didn’t expect the question, and his mouth gaped, before he caught it and snapped his teeth shut. He flushed even harder, if possible. He didn’t answer, instead, turned around, and began spreading out his books, as if they would answer the question for him as he sorted through them.

                “Dude, I’m fucking with you. I just didn’t know. I’m sorry. And, for the record, it’s English. No wonder Morgan’s been all over my ass.” Jared snapped his attention back to Jensen and said the first thing that popped into his head, without filtering it first.

                “Why are you being so nice right now?” He blushed, for a third time, inwardly cursing himself for sounding like such a girl. Jensen didn’t seem offended by the abrupt question, instead he laughed, perfect white teeth flashing, and crows feet crinkling in the corners of his eyes. Jared didn’t think he’d ever seen a human being look so beautiful as Jensen did in that moment.

                “Yeah, I know, I’m usually a huge dick. I’m not saying I won’t be in the future, and that you won’t want to beat my ass, but hey, we’re stuck together for now, so might as well play nice.” He sat up, eyes glinting, and reached out to squeeze Jared’s knee. Jared knew it was just a friendly gesture, but the simple touch sent shivers shooting up his spine, and warmth flooding through his body. Jared shut his eyes for a moment, willing his body to obey him and calm itself immediately. When he opened his eyes again, Jensen was standing next to him, poking through his tumbled stack of books. Jared stood, gaining space between the two of them, watching Jensen drink in his recent reading material. He wasn’t far enough away, though, that he couldn’t smell the personal scent wafting off Jensen, the scent of his leather jacket- that he was still wearing despite the warmth inside the house, a faint smell of woodsmoke, jumbled notes of aftershave, and his own personal musk. Jared shut his eyes again and bit down on his bottom lip, willing the horny teenager inside himself to relegate the unwanted urges to the back of his brain. His eyes snapped back open when he felt a hand settle on top of his, rested on the desk top.

                “Hey, so, uh, no chick flick moments but… I really appreciate what you’re doing for me, dude.” Jensen sounded sincere, his limpid green eyes focusing on Jared’s own hazel orbs. Jared swallowed, feeling his mouth dry out, the warmth of Jensen’s hand seeping into his skin and flooding into his bones. He was pretty sure this wasn’t really happening, that Jensen was actually an okay guy, and here in Jared’s space, touching his skin.

                “How grateful, exactly?” He said it before he realized he was thinking it. Jensen’s mouth dropped open, like he wanted to respond, his eyes surprised, not expecting the flirtatious retort. He noticed in that moment just how close Jared was, how he stood above Jensen, looking down into his eyes, broad chest radiating warmth in Jensen’s direction. Both boys stared at each other momentarily, until their silence was broken with a shout coming from the bottom of the stairs.

                “BOYS! Dinner!” They both jumped, hands snapping back to their rightful place, eyes searching everywhere but each other. Jared was the first to break the silence, repeating Jensen’s words from earlier.

                “Dude. I’m fucking with you.” He grinned, shoving Jensen lightly on the shoulder. “Let’s go eat.”

 


	3. Chapter Three

** Chapter Three **

J2:

                Jared sat across from his mom, Jensen to his left, and inwardly willed his persistent blush to fade away. It wasn’t fair- he was supposed to be the authority figure here, tutoring Jensen, yet somehow he felt like a bumbling idiot. Jensen sat to his left, looking uncomfortable as he fiddled with his silverware between the calloused fingers of his right hand and drummed a staccato on the table with his left. Jared felt a flood of gratitude pour through him when Kim broke the silence.

                “So you’re Beaver’s son, I understand?” She asked, while scooping up their three plates and began serving the chicken parmesan and pasta salad she’d made for supper. Her face was open and happy, obviously appreciating the company. Jensen’s nervous smile faltered, replaced by a tight, unhappy expression.

                “I, uh… nah. He just lets me crash at his place.” He lowered his head to stare at the table cloth, irritably smoothing down a nonexistent wrinkle.

                “Ah…. And your parents…?” Kim’s warm smile faltered as she placed a plate laden with food in front of her suddenly reticent dinner guest.

                “Mom’s dead. Dad worked out an arrangement with Bobby last year so he didn’t have to be bothered with the responsibility anymore.” His expression was unreadable; but the slight downturn of the corners of his mouth spoke volumes. Jared cleared his throat loudly, taking his plate from his mother.

                “So, Jensen, tell me what we’ll be working on for English.” Jensen glanced up at him, forcing a tight smile.

                “It’s okay Jared, you don’t have to change the subject. My dad is out of the picture, my mom is dead, and I mooch off someone else til I’m eighteen. Pretty cut and dry. Kim, the food is delicious.” And with that he lowered his head again, steadily tucking into the fare while both Kim and Jared were left in silence. The rest of dinner was strained, interrupted only by occasional sounds of cutlery on dinnerware, a throat being cleared, or Jensen making an approving noise as he steadily worked through his portion. Jared lost interest in his food halfway through, unable to get past the uncomfortable atmosphere. He pushed his pate aside and waited for Jensen to finish. When he had finished his last bite and grunted in satisfaction, Jared stood up.

                “Thanks for dinner mom. Save the dishes for me later, I want to get a bit of studying done before Jensen has to head home.” With that he turned and tromped out of the room.

                “Er… Kim, that was delicious, thanks so much. Haven’t eaten like that in a while. I’ll just, uh….” He stared at her uncomfortably for a second until she quirked her eyebrow and nodded her head in the direction her son had just fled.

                “Anytime, son. Now go work.” Excused, Jensen turned around in relief, and pelted up the stairs to Jared’s bedroom. Upon entering, he saw Jared sitting on his bed, arms crossed, looking straight up pissy.

                “Listen, I appreciate that your life hasn’t been the easiest, but you didn’t have to be a dick to my mom. She was just trying to be friendly.”

                “Yeah, well, I don’t like strangers digging into my life. It wasn’t her business.” Jensen knew he’d been rude, but he didn’t like being on the defensive, and he felt completely out of his element in such a warm and loving environment. He had had something like that, once, a fuzzy existence he could hardly remember, but often dreamed about, and woke up feeling empty and aching inside afterward.

                “Jesus, what happened to the “playing nice” you mentioned earlier? I’ll keep my side of the deal but you can’t just act like an asshole because you feel like it.” Jared felt a flush spread on his skin. He didn’t have much of a temper, but Jensen seemed to have a knack at drawing it out of him.

                “Who says I’m just acting like an asshole? Earth to ‘Jeremy’, I AM an asshole. Didn’t think I’d have to keep proving it to you.” He stood his ground at the door to Jared’s room, practically the bristling with annoyance.

                “Okay, I get it. So much for the pretending not to be a giant douche earlier. I hear you loud and clear. Let’s just… let’s just work on the paper JD has us writing this week.” With that Jared lurched off his bed, grabbing the assignment sheet the assigned reading book off his desk. He shoved both at Jensen tensely. Jensen declined to accept either, instead shutting his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, and shaking his head minutely.

                “This is so fucking stupid. I’m out.” He turned on his heel, hand reaching for the door handle. Jared snarled, completely fed up. Before Jensen was able to exit the door, he reached out, his hand snagging the other boy’s forearm tightly, wheeling him around.

                “No you don’t. This isn’t just about YOU. I have things on the line, too. I made a deal, and you don’t get to just dip because you don’t know how to be a normal functioning human being.” Jensen choked a little at the snarl on Jared’s face. The taller boy squeezed his bicep tightly, probably not realizing he was causing pain, and dragged him further back into the room. “So pull that stick out of your ass, sit the hell down, and tell me what you know about Rene Descartes.” He stopped speaking at that, chest heaving slightly, but didn’t release Jensen, who just gaped a bit at him, feeling the heat of the hand clasping him sink into his skin. Jared was in his space, so close that he could smell the clean scent of soap on his skin. He wasn’t used to anyone being able to loom over him, and the realization that Jared was physically capable of manhandling him if he really wanted to vibrated through him. He felt his brain short circuit slightly and did the only thing he could think of to do in the moment. He surged to his toes, feeling Jared drop the hand from his arm in surprise, tipped his head up, and crushed his mouth into the other boy’s. His lips were warm, and soft, but the sensation only lasted a moment before Jared’s mouth dropped open in surprise, and he backed away from Jensen, face white, pink spots on his cheeks highlighting glinting eyes.

                “Dude, what the FUCK.” Jensen growled slightly in satisfaction, pleased to be back in control of the situation. He shrugged a shoulder in what he hoped appeared to be a cocky manner, even though he could feel his stomach flipping uncomfortably, full of what felt like butterflies tumbling through a forest fire. Out of a hundred different ways he could have handled this, he had zero understanding of why his first reaction was to kiss another male.

                “It got you off me, didn’t it?” Jared worked his mouth once, twice, and then licked his lips nervously, before he pushed both book and paper he was still holding into Jensen’s hands and fumbled the bedroom door open.

                “Just… go. I can’t… this is just…. Go home. Read the book. Tonight. You don’t have a lot of time to get this paper done and I can’t handle you anymore right now. We’ll talk about what you need to do for the paper some other time.” Jensen flushed, realizing he was being effectively kicked out. Well, he had asked for it, he assumed. He was lucky he hadn’t been punched. Most straight guys would have reacted that way, hell, Jensen himself would have, had the roles been reversed.

                “What, you can’t walk a girl to the door?” He rebutted, unwilling to show just how off kilter he felt with the entire bizarre night they’d had, or his own insane reactions to this annoying overachiever he’d been forced to partner with. Jared’s face darkened. He opened his bedroom door, pushed Jensen out of the room, and slammed the door in his face. Jensen didn’t wait around to have an uncomfortable conversation with Kim, instead, bolted down the stairs and out the front door.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

_Felicia: HE DID WHAT?_

_Jared: I shit you not._

_Felicia: Are you sure you didn’t fall asleep and have a giant wet dream?_

_Jared: Trust me, this would be my last idea of a wet dream._

_Felicia: Still. Dude. You’ve been in love with this guy for like, ever, and you’re telling me he just kissed you. How are you not over the moon?_

_Jared: It wasn’t like that. It was a tactic. He did it to get me off him and shut me up._

_Felicia: What do you mean get you off him?_

_Jared: I mean, I kind of grabbed him, and got a little loud, but he had it coming._

_Felicia: Jesus. You’re so awkward._

_Jared: I don’t know how I can go to school tomorrow and face him._

_Felicia: I’d love to give you some advice but I’ve never been kissed into submission before by a straight guy after I roughed him up._

_Jared: It wasn’t like that. I was just frustrated._

_Felicia: Whatever. I’m falling asleep. Tell me what happens tomorrow. This is literally better than anything on tv right now._

_Jared: Screw you too._

_Felicia: love you!_

_Jared: Night, dumbass._

~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

J1:

 

It was an hour later, and Jensen lay in his bed, still fully clothed, Jared’s copy of Passions of the Soul  next to him. He fiddled with his phone, wondering if it would be pathetic to call Jared after the scene earlier. If he would even answer. He’d had time to cool down and think, and he felt more than embarrassed about his behavior over the course of the evening. He knew he was damaged, but Jesus, he’d really outdone himself. He didn’t think he had it in him to survive the embarrassment if he called Jared and got ignored, so instead, he settled on texting him.

_Jensen: Is this the weirdo who said God is dead?_

It was several minutes, and still no response. Jensen sighed, knowing it had been a long shot, getting an answer. He clambered back out of bed and undressed for the night. As he was about to head to the bathroom and brush his teeth, he heard his phone buzz gently on his comforter.

_Jared: Dude. No. That was Neitzsche._

_Jensen: Huh. Okay, did he say the God being a mistake of man thing?_

_Jared: I’m beginning to think you’ve got a weird thing for Neitzsche. Or you hate God._

_Jensen: Mostly kidding. This philosophy thing sucks._

_Jared: You suck._

_Jensen: I know._

_Jared: Start reading the book yet?_

_Jensen: Waiting to see if you forgive me for being an ass again before I dive in._

_Jared: I think, therefor I am._

_Jensen: You think you forgive me?_

_Jared: Descartes. His most famous quote, probably._

_Jensen: “Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.”_

_Jared: Look at you, googling Descartes like a champ._

_Jensen: I work for things, sometimes._

_Jared: If I forgive you will you stop texting me and read the damned book?_

_Jensen:  “Everything is self-evident.”_

_Jared: Omg. Forgiven. Just shut up and read._

_Jensen: “The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.”_

_Jared: “text me one more quote and I’ll put my foot up your ass.”_

_Jensen: Oooh. Neitzsche was a kinky bastard._

_Jared: Padalecki, actually. Goodnight. Enjoy the book._

_Jensen: Just for you._

~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

 

 

 

 


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